On self image, Haring and Metamodernism
When we moved here, I had big plans to reconnect with parts of myself that I've maybe not always had a lot of confidence in, but things which I’ve always vibed off.
Things that were or have been important to me, part of my culture at one time or another, at times I've wanted them to be a bigger part of my personality or my life, but for one reason or another I’ve not always had the confidence for.
I thought about writing, graffiti, to get some spray cans or some stickers, and leaving some little rural islands around the town.
I thought about dj’ing a bit more, blending some records or some wavs, perhaps putting on a night somewhere. There's a million local bars here, I got in touch with the cool cats at the arts club and the gallery I liked, and things never quite panned out. There’s something of hopeful reinvention when you move somewhere new, you can be who you hoped to be. You carry some of the breeze in with you, and it's kind of drifted away.
A few weeks ago, I had that new pencil case feeling and I updated my website, got some business cards made, went to a big animation event in London, trying to work the room a bit and re-present myself in a more artistic, outward facing way as an independent creative. What's that line from Nathan Barley - a self facilitating media node 😅
I think I was (or am) trying to rebrand myself as someone a little more creative, an artistic individual, as opposed to how I feel in my everyday: faceless adjunct, consultant, brain to pick; but not one important enough to have my name on the ticket, or even the website.
That feels like weeks ago now, the early September haze. I'm wavering. I can feel the Autumn approaching. It's hard, maintaining creative endeavour in a world, or at least a civilization, that feels like it's on the outs. When its a world you don’t fully believe in, the human project or the capitalist system or whatever we deem to call it, it hurts to put too much effort into it.
So I have these little bursts; every now and again I dig in, make the effort, and any rebuttals or rebuffs or rejections will tend to make me recoil back to my safe space of not trying once again. I don’t want to be some big creative director or whatever, but I'd like to make some art in the town and make some animations here, get a bit more involved, maybe go play some records somewhere.
I don't know if it's about ego or not, at least I don't think it is, but you know, part of me would like to be the guy that puts island stickers up everywhere, and maybe people wonder who that is. And maybe they’ll connect with them in some way. And they can stop for just a moment and think about stuff.
—
I’ve been thinking about Keith Haring a lot the past few weeks, partly in response to the Christies’ sale, largely in part to the responses from Xer0x and Sabato. I rewatched Street Art Boy, which I've seen before, and dug through some other bits as well, watched some things on YouTube; the Maripol film feels like a companion piece of sorts, it digs into his early motivations and what all this means.
A lot of Keith’s own writing really resonated for me.
You get thrust into this position of attention and wealth that you don’t necessarily know that you deserve in terms of payment. To me, the whole thing of pay-back is an idea, an ideological or emotional thing, or something that I get from making successful work. And even that isn’t the main thing. See, when I paint, it is an experience that, at its best, is transcending reality. When it is working, you completely go into another place, you’re tapping into things that are totally universal, of the total consciousness, completely beyond your ego and your own self. That’s what it’s all about. That’s why it’s the biggest insult of all when people talk about me selling out I’ve spent my entire life trying to avoid that, trying to figure out why it happens to people, trying to figure out what it means. How do you participate in the world but not lose your integrity? It’s a constant struggle.
https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-news/keith-haring-just-say-know-71847/3/
—
I took to wondering, was Keith Haring the first great metamodern artist? Is his a kind of proto metamodernism? I think it is. It fits my definition of what appeals to me about the movement as I understand it; sincerity and a lack of irony, something thats not post-ironic, so much as post cynicism. Hope made flesh.
And the hope that by drawing, animating, singing, writing, creating and making, whatever it is you're doing, whatever your specific skill set is; I mean, it doesn't really matter whether you're typing prompts into midjourney or pouring your soul into a typewriter, if you’re acting with heart. It's about hope. About trying to interact with and impart some good and some change and some magik into this world, in the belief that our actions have consequences for good, and by our own action, maybe we can make the world a better place somehow than it is right now.
That's it I think, I'm gonna see how this looks typed up, or transcribed or whatever, probably using some kind of bot, because this is the first time I've tried one of these freeform and speaking into the phone.
Let's see how this goes …
🖍🪨✨